We’re having a rant rave session today at Midlands Maidens. Multiple things have got up our noses, and here is a selection of them.
Excuse the huge amount of cynicism in this post, but now we’ve calmed down a little it seemed to be the best way to deal with it.
We’ll deal with these one by one in the following order:
- Hacking Attempts.
- Applicant Excuses.
- A well deserved totty gallery.
Over the weekend, we installed a new software to ‘redirect’ users to a relevant page – or to the homepage if no relevant page could be found.
For example – if you entered midlandsmaidens.com/escorts – you will now be redirected to the ‘escorts-online’ page, and if you enter midlandsmaidens.com/derby-escorts – you get redirected to the Derby Escorts Guide page, or if you enter midlandsmaidens.com/what-a-load-of-bollox – you get redirected to the homepage.
We can keep updating these redirects as they come in, but it’s the homepage redirects that started us ranting and raving this morning.
There were hundreds of requests from Germany and Ukrania that were obvious hacking attempts, such as old-logon.php, new-logon.php website-admin-logon.php, logon-bak.php, which all got redirected back to the homepage.
We hope that these hacker novices at least enjoyed a good wank when they realised they were onto an impossible task!
From time to time we get applicants who realise that they’ve bitten off more than they could chew.
Fair enough, we realise this job is not for everyone, and if you apply straight after a relationship break-up, or after you’ve been out on the razzle, we can understand completely that you didn’t want to take it further, and just let us know if we call you.
There is a much darker side to this in a few of the excuses we receive though, and that is the ‘dead relative’ excuse.
We only get about five of these per year, and our profound apologies to those of you that HAVE suffered a loss, but to say that we only interview around 100 applicants a year, five is a huge mark-up.
We’ve had: my grandma died, my grand-dad died, my cousin died, my second cousin twice removed on my father’s friends side has died, I’ve had to go to Wales to scatter my grand-dad’s ashes in a Welsh lake, and all sorts of similar excuses just to get out of the application.
Why don’t applicants that have changed their minds just call us and say they’ve had second thoughts? We wouldn’t mind and it saves a lot of messing around to all concerned.
Funny how not even a text message was sent in any of these examples, yes?
We dread to think what their excuse would be when it came to working on a week-end night!
We would like to suggest that those applicants who have relatives with ill-health think twice before putting in their application, as working for Midlands Maidens is BOUND to make them roll over!
Vaping is the perfect solution to smokers that want to give up smoking.
We’ve got four girls, and myself, that happily vape in the office whilst all the others need to wander off outside for a smoke.
According to the Yanks though, vaping is a real health hazard.
Even though there is no chance of anyone suffering from nicotine poisoning through passive vaping, it has surfaced that 12 vapers have died in the past couple of months due to vaping.
Makes you wonder how many have died in the last couple of months due to lung cancer, eh?
And apparently it’s not even due to the vaping – it’s because they’re mixing marijuana and fruit flavors together which has some kind of side-effect – that kills them.
It’s been warned that if it’s banned, then vape-gangs will sell illegal vapes for a vast profit.
Makes you laugh, don’t it?
I bet Al Capone will be turning in his grave!
This morning it was announced that the first Brit had died from vaping – back in 2012 – so it cannot be actually proven that he died from vaping.
As we see it, this is just a massive scramble to get some kind of ‘vape tax’ sorted out as the US and UK governments are suffering hand over fist with the present system.
Thousands of millions of smokers are not now paying tobacco tax in the UK or US as vapes are exempt from this, and it was only a matter of time before they found a way to soak us dry again!
Rant Rave Totty Gallery
Finally we come to the rant rave totty gallery.
In keeping with the theme of this post, all the girls in this gallery are smoking vapes and not a dead relative or German hacker amongst them!
That’s the end of our rant rave for today, and it all turned out fine in the end!
Headline image via Stuff.