We've been hanging on... and hanging on... but still no worthy contenders for the Christmas TV ads this year - they're all rubbish.
Hosting Hacking and a Totty Gallery
Only at Midlands Maidens are you likely to find a hosting hacking techie post on Valentines Day but there are valid reasons for this.
Firstly, any guy or girl worth their salt SHOULD be pandering about with their partner, rather than getting a shag from an escort girl.
Secondly, any guy or girl WITHOUT a partner will have wanked themselves dry by this evening, all in all making Valentines Day a notoriously poor day for escorting.
We’ll start off with the middle-ground and go straight into hacking.
A couple of nights ago, we had a notification from our website that a hacker had been detected. With this software in place, it was a simple case of going in, deleting the hackers account, and blacklisting their ip address. We also changed passwords and locked down our configuration file. So within one minute, the hacking threat had been nulled.
We’re expecting even more shows on our 404 page in the next few days, as potential hackers try to access our admin account, but it will all be in vain.
So what’s the best software to use for identifying hackers?
SUCURI has a great reputation amongst various static and dynamic websites, and alerts can be set for if a hacker arrives.
WORDFENCE is a solution for the WordPress CMS, and like with Sucuri, alerts can be set for any hacker infiltration.
Both of the above have premium versions that will get rid of any injected coding, but if you catch them within a few seconds, you can boot them out before they can do any damage.
The more astute amongst you will have noticed that we now have a recommendation for hosting services on our front page.
TSO HOST have always been impeccable in their services and knowledge but one thing that they WON’T offer you is an introductory discount – going by the premise that introductory discounts are a con.
Consider SITEGROUND and GODADDY for example.
SITEGROUND by all accounts give great hosting, but what put us off them was that they totally fucked up on a website migration.
Then we happened to check the pricing AFTER the introductory discount, and discovered the the price for their business hosting would be more than TRIPLE that of their introductory price.
Also no monthly option, meaning that you are tied in with them forever unless you let your subscription lapse so that they disable your account.
GODADDY are the absolute pits when it comes to hosting, but we still use them for domain parking.
Again, the price for GoDaddy hosting more than doubled following their introductory price, but at least they offer a monthly option for business hosting.
Slow speeds due to a cable running under the Atlantic Ocean (really, we got that excuse once, complete with a contact number to complain about it to the contractor), the majority of support staff have no idea what they’re on about, and prefer to direct you to an ‘upsell’ to buy their SSL certificates, which are free elsewhere.
TSO HOST though, we have had no problems with – even though they now have the GoDaddy hold music on their phones.
Excellent support (unless you get an apprentice in which case you just ask for a manager) and any problems can either be sorted out there and then, or within a 30mins wait if it’s a more serious problem.
Seeing as TSO use the cloud as their main hosting, there’s also a really cool and easy to navigate control panel which is a million miles away from the C-Panel found on other hosting sites.
Migrations from your old host are catered for, and as opposed to Siteground (who use a plugin), or GoDaddy (who tell you to fuck off unless you pay $80 or so for a basic migration that often needs further support to get it running and by the way, you’ll need one of our SSLs too), TSO do a full migration of your database and content FREE in most cases (see here for details).
There’s even a 10% discount on your hosting for all systems, cloud or C-panel, if you use MAIDENS10 in your checkout box!
The Totty Gallery
So now to the main event for those of you that read through the rest of this hosting hacking post.
“From a pure numbers perspective, women’s vaginas have cracked more bank accounts than every hacker or bank robber in history.”
From our good friends at Sex.com, enjoy the show!
We hope that you’ve enjoyed this overtly technical post on hosting hacking and totty galleries, and to any webmasters viewing, we hope we helped you out with your hosting requirements.