Number blocking

Desperado Number Blocking

We’ve had a couple of clients this week that made text message bookings, but made the mistake of trying elsewhere before getting our replies. Number blocking may well be your answer!

We have a couple of toggle panels on the HOMEPAGE that explain all about pushy sales techniques and cold-callers from less scrupulous providers than ourselves, so we would first suggest that you go and read those.

We would then suggest that if you MUST try a text message booking, give us at least fifteen minutes to reply as Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts gives priority to voice calls.

What we will NOT do however, is consistently bug you.

One of our girls met a client earlier this week that had fallen into the trap of sending a message to an agency that must be desperate for work, as by the time the booking had finished, he had 104 missed calls on his phone and several unanswered calls to his hotel room.

We would have tried maybe twice – and then moved on to the next client.

If you get plagued by this appalling behaviour, here come a couple of public service announcements that show you how to use number blocking to block those desperate agencies from calling you!


1) Blocking calls on an IPhone


2) Blocking calls on an Android

Finally, DO NOT tell any provider where you are unless you have sealed the booking.

That way, they cannot bug you in the hotel room either!

Happy (and safe) Bookings!



Booking Nottingham Escorts

Booking Nottingham Escorts | Full Guide


The content in this post regarding booking Nottingham escorts  will be very familiar to many people, but we hope that you will keep on reading to see a few genuine Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts authentic insights a little later on!

This guide will cover:

1) Outcalls

2) Incalls

3) Bookings Guide For Twats

1) Outcall Appointments

An outcall appointment is one where your chosen girl comes over to your hotel or home address.

Your first point of contact when making an outcall appointment by phone will be the reception staff in the office. MMs HQ is open 24 hours, so in the vast majority of cases this is by far the best way to fix up an appointment.

If you do not have a girl already in mind, you will be asked which type of girl you would prefer to see. We do NOT work to a rota system, so any preferences that you outline will take priority regarding a match-up.

You will then be asked what TYPE of appointment you require (one-on-one, M/F couple, 2 guys etc), and the LOCATION where the girl will be coming over to.

Your information will then be passed over to the girl, who will call you to discuss any further details such as services, clothing, and arrival time. This last section is unique to Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts, and acts both as an ‘ice-breaker’, and a confirmation that the girl herself can assure you that what you have been told by the office is a true indication of your requirements.

Payment is by cash at the point of meeting up, or in advance by internet bank transfer or credit card.

Full details can be found on The RATES Page.

2) Incall Appointments

An incall appointment is one where your chosen girl will meet you at our own incall premises.

Your first point of contact when making an outcall appointment by phone will be the reception staff in the office. MMs HQ is open 24 hours, so in the vast majority of cases this is by far the best way to fix up an appointment.

If you do not have a girl already in mind, you will be asked which type of girl you would prefer to see. We do NOT work to a rota system, so any preferences that you outline will take priority regarding a match-up.

Your information will then be passed over to the girl, who will call you discuss any further details such as services and your arrival time.

Please note that if you are a first time client of Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts, you may be asked to pay a non-refundable 50% deposit in advance prior to the appointment being arranged. This is to deter timewasters, and ensures that genuine clients will take priority.

3) Bookings Guide For Twats

The above two sections will have outlined our bookings process for the vast majority of clients, but there is a small section of people that fall into this final sub-category due to them being idiots.

Typical questions from this crowd are:

‘Who’s working tonight?’ – (when they haven’t seen the website anyway) – then – ‘what do they all look like?’

‘Do you do half hours?’ – We do half hours no problem, but it’s a one hour minimum charge.

‘We’re in Nottingham, where’s your incall?’ – (Under no circumstances will we entertain parties at our incall premises, as any more than a one-on-one appointment is illegal.

‘Can you do it a bit cheaper?’ – Absolutely not! If you want a cheap slapper, try elsewhere. If you asked your missus to go to the chippy because the restaurant was too expensive, there would be no shag for you tonight!

‘Can you call me back in five minutes?’ – No, you’ve lost us. We’re not going to be arsed to hang fire while you ring around to see if any other agencies are open who will offer you a sub-standard streetwalker for a tenner less.

There are many more similar idiotic questions that arise, but the above is a broad cross-section of the most popular.

To those that languish in this final section, we would encourage you to consider the question – ‘why haven’t I pulled tonight?’

And then consider that if you’d just grow up a little, you might just get taken seriously!

We wish all our Option One and Option Two clients many Happy Bookings!


10 years of the best Nottingham Escorts!

Providing Escorts in Nottingham For 10 Years


We are celebrating ten years of providing the very best escorts in Nottingham,

Yes, it really is ten years since Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts opened it’s doors for business!

…And it don’t seem a day too long…

Ten years since six of us got together and decided to run an escort agency how it SHOULD be run – by charging the lowest agency fees in the UK BAR NONE, and giving our clients the best possible experience possible – by sending an appropriate girl, and not one who just happens to be next on the rota.

Ten years since we made our humble beginnings on ‘EscortSite’ and one of the girls popped out to get any random sim card so that we could advertise a contact number.

During that time, we’ve outlived and outstayed most of the other local agencies – ABC, Harveys, Escorts Nottingham, and now only Feline remains. Note that we’re only counting genuine agencies here, and not those ramshackle outfits that are run by failed escorts who need to rebrand every month or so because they made another major fuck-up.

Our proudest achievement would have to be that we have NEVER had a negative review – one overwhelming reason why Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts has stood the test of time!

Another major reason for continually providing excellence is our point-blank refusal to work with unsuitable girls. Many have tried, and a few of those might even have got past the phone interview stage, but in the main, we can ensure that no unsuitable girls, or failed escorts from other agencies have ever been taken on and been given a booking.

We look forward to providing our unique ‘Midlands Maidens Experience‘ to all our clients for the next ten years, and to all of those that have supported us – we hope we did good!

Happy Bookings!


In with the New

In With the New!



We have now added the runs of ‘selfie’ shots sent in by Trixie and Janine to the main website, together with their profiles.


We hope that you will enjoy meeting our new Nottingham Escorts and Leicester Escorts now that they are available for appointments to the general public!


Out With the Old

Out With the Old…


…and in with the new!

In one final flurry before the end of 2015, we had a few interviews arranged on New Years Eve afternoon.

With quite a lot to get through in this first blog post of the year, which is doubling up as the final blog events of last year, we’ll just concentrate on the two successful applicants.

A real blast from the past as regards the interview location – we ended up at The SixHills Hotel on the A46 in Leicestershire, where we spent many happy hours when Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts first started up, ten years ago.

SixHills Hotel

Trixie is a 26yrs old 6’0″ size 10 English black girl from Leicester. We have always been pleased with the class of black girls from this area – think Morgan, Hannah and Elenor from our early days – and Trixie proved to be no exception. Very approachable and likeable, Trixie provided a near perfect showing of herself, and we had no problem with inviting her to join us in the New Year.

SixHills Hotel

Janine is a 27yrs old 5’8″ size 10 34D English busty blonde girl from South Notts. An outrageous flirt and exhibitionist, she was probably the one girl in the past year that had us right on edge with her antics, but very cleverly made it all look totally innocent to anyone else that might have been trying to grab a cheeky eyeful! Without a doubt the most extreme interview of the year, and a certainty to be offered a position at Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts!


We have now received a selection of selfies from Trixie, and a huge wad of selfies/photos depicting the adventures of Janine, all of which should be online shortly after this post is live.


It is with regret that we are saying goodbye to three Maidens.

Miranda joined us a couple of months ago but has found it hard going and is now having second thoughts about the industry. We have given her full leave to ask to come back if she wants, but for now it is farewell.

Similarly, Josie is finding it hard going with having to commute to Nottingham for the majority of her appointments. Again we have given her full leave to return if she can get some permanent transport sorted out.

Mandy is one of our longest serving Maidens, and it is with great regret that we will be saying goodbye to her within the next week or so. We have known for a while that she was looking for a more musically oriented job, and we are pleased that she has now landed a plum position within the industry. Good luck Mandy, and we await our complimentary tickets!

Finally, Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts would like to wish all of the Maidens and our clients a Happy and Prosperous New Year, and many Happy Bookings!


End of Year Review

Midlands Maidens End of Year Revue


As 2015 draws to a close, it’s time for the annual Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts revue, where we note a few pertinent facts that happened throughout the past twelve months.

One of the main issues that we’ve noticed this year is a marked drop in class of both escort applicants, and clients. The standard has been on a slow decline for the past 3-4 years, but 2015 saw this trend pushed right to the forefront.

It is plainly obvious where this trend has come from – in the main, the genuine escort applicants, and the genuine clients, are the same as they ever were – that’s to say they are a pleasure to work with, a pleasure to meet, and a pleasure to work for. As any level one economics student will tell you, if you are portraying and selling a class product, then you will attract classy staff to work for you and a high standard of clients to use your service. Think of it as being a choice of using either ‘Harrods’ or ‘Poundland’.

Firmly entrenched in the ‘Poundland’ category, and through no fault of their own in many cases, are applicants and clients using ‘quick fix grab the cash and run’ providers, where they have had a modicum of success in bartering the prices down because the girls are cheapo slappers anyway, who don’t mind what they shag as long as they get a few quid to finance their next hit.

They wrongly presume that this tactic will work anywhere.

As we have already said, this is no fault of their own in many cases, as it has been suggested to them that they can negotiate a cheap shag – but it’s a whole new ball-game when they get tired of the perpetual poor service and crack-whore type staff, and try to move up the ladder by using a classy agency. This is where they run into a brick wall, as the last thing we need to rely on at Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts is some out of his head piss artist and his mates, looking for an incall when the clubs have kicked out, and trying to barter a ‘value’ price.

It goes without saying that the staff at this type of low-class provider are not welcome to work at Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts, and so it all becomes a vicious circle – girls that will never be able to do this job properly whilst they have a hole in their arse, entertaining pissed up slobs who wouldn’t have a clue what a full service was if it ran over them in a lorry.

We have now noticed that the predictions of some of the girls at these low-class providers are beginning to come true. We knew all along though, that if a provider needs to change their name and knock up a new ‘agency’ every few weeks to try and hoodwink clients into using them again, then something is very wrong with their business acumen.

Anyway, enough of the sub-Poundland scene – we’ll get onto the class ‘Harrods’ concept!

Having ploughed through the usual humdrum below-par applicants for months as usual, October and November suddenly rocketed as we nearly tripled our staff list!

We changed the interview tack and arranged a full three days solely to meet new applicants, which paid huge dividends in introducing Josie, Megan, Tishia, Mimi, Miranda, Tanya, and a short while later, Christine, to our clients.

Our original concept still held true during this period though, regarding poor applicants not being invited to join us, and this was enforced as recently as yesterday (the 29th December) when we had an application from one of our ex-Maidens.

Ex-Maidens are ‘ex’ for a reason, and even though ‘Amber’ was never officially sacked, this was mainly due to her perceiving that the chop was imminent and offering her resignation. This was her second attempt to re-join us, but we will not entertain poor availability and client stealing issues. Now sporting blonde hair, watch out for her surfacing for a short while soon in some form or other!

We also changed the photo types, which has gone down incredibly well with our clients! All new girls now send a collection of ‘selfie’ shots, which we use in their profile pages. Clients are tending to appreciate this as an added touch of realism, blowing away the obviously faked photoshop images found elsewhere.

Next year sees Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts attaining a major landmark, in that we will be celebrating our tenth year of excellent service!

We’ve already dropped our first hour prices by ten pounds to celebrate this, and watch out for a few special promotions throughout the year too!

The whole ten year ride has been great fun, and we hope that we made a few people a little happier along the way!

Here’s to the NEXT ten years, and we look forward to adding many more escorting devotees to our client list.

It just remains now to wish everyone a very Happy New Year, and many Happy Bookings!

See you in 2016!


Black Escorts

Nottingham Escorts – Black Ones


Before we start, we make no apologies for our insights, or the insights of our clients regarding this issue.

Not even the title of the post – because if it had said ‘white ones’, no-one would blink an eyelid.

One thing we will NEVER do though, is to pander down to ‘politically correct’ statements to appease any given clique, as that in itself – the fact that we treat one section differently from another – would be termed as racist.

So yes, Nottingham Escorts – Black Ones.

This issue stems from a call we received yesterday at HQ from a prospective applicant. As the conversation progressed, it was plainly obvious that she was already working at a rival agency and just going for a wind-up, which is why it was treated as such, and we had no intention of passing her number over for a formal phone interview.

Her story went along the lines of that she was a nurse in Birmingham, but wanted to come and stay at our incall premises for three days a week. A little like another local agency works it – even though this arrangement is highly illegal and runs the risk of prosecution should they be found out.

After we’d had our bit of fun regarding her defence of other local agencies, which of course she WOULD know, being from Birmingham,(LOL) she threw in the comment that she was black, which had no effect whatsoever on the conversation – she could have been yellow, blue, or polka-dot – it would have made no difference to the fact that she had been sussed out.

This morning, we received the following message via WhatsApp:


Which we replied to:


And we firmly stand by the fact that SOME black applicants will always play the ‘race’ card as a retort for not being accepted.

Which is funny really – as no failed WHITE applicant accuses us of being racist if we turn a WHITE girl down.

The point is this – and this is NOT a racist comment, it is a FACTUAL comment – passed onto us by clients. And let’s face it, clients are those who pay the girls’ wages.

Back in the day when we had a couple of black girls working for us, 99% (literally!!!) of clients wanted to see a white girl. Which led to the black girls leaving of their own accord due to there being no work for them.

Not because they were black.

Because there was no work for them.

When we announced who was working to clients, invariably they would say that they didn’t want to see a black girl. (Or a Thai girl or an EE girl for that matter!) They would then go on to say that they didn’t like the way that black girls had ‘an attitude’ or a ‘hidden agenda’.

They would also say that Thai girls didn’t perform many basic services.

And they would say that EE girls were ‘cold’.

The ‘applicant’ from above is proof positive of the general opinion of clients towards black girls, in that their attitude stinks and they have hidden agendas.

This of course does NOT apply to ALL black girls – but when a client is faced with shelling out a three-figure fee, he is going to play safe and avoid any chance of blowing his wad on a niche that has, entirely through the fault of the likes of the above, got itself a poor reputation.

Funny how Thai girls and EE girls don’t play the ‘race’ card?

And this is the problem – black girls are their own worst enemy.

We have had a couple of wonderful black girls working for us in the past, that were getting no work purely because of being tarred with the same brush as that type of black girl from above, who has a shit attitude and then plays the ‘race’ card to try and justify her actions.

Clients do not want, and will not pay, for poor service – OR bad attitude.

It is NOT a race thing – it is pure facts.

We actually find it VERY racist of black girls that would suggest otherwise!

Do your job properly, ditch the attitude, and stop fucking about.

Which is what we say to ALL girls that need a kick up the arse, EVEN WHITE ONES!

To all the GENUINE black girls working as escorts out there – we love working with you, and we’ve enjoyed making your acquaintance.

To all the idiots that think the world owes them a free meal – sorry, but you’ve been sussed out, and you are ruining it for the genuine workers. Best to fuck off out of it now and get a job at Tescos!

And that goes for ALL girls, white, red, yellow, polka-dot AND black ones!



Druggie in Nottingham

Sex n Drugs n Rock n’ Roll Escorts


We have no problem with the ‘sex’ part:

We have no problem with the ‘Rock n’ Roll’ part:

But the ‘Drugs’ part is another issue entirely!

It is widely assumed that escorts, by the very nature of their profession, have access to copious amounts of illegal chemical substances. Indeed, 90% of our job applicants eventually have to admit that they are in this job to feed a habit – which is why those 90% are invariably refused a position.

Believe it or not, the image at the top of this post is fairly typical of some of the nightmare cases that we turn down, week in, week out, who then go on to work elsewhere!

At Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts, we frown heavily on escorting to fuel a drugs habit, one of the main reasons being that the girl has other addictive targets to meet than just her career-wise ones.

This being the case, we would like to remind clients that if they wanted a drugs delivery, then call your own dealer, who no doubt will also be able to advise you on where to go if he cannot fulfil a delivery at the present time.

We have no problems with clients that use drugs.

That’s up to them.

But we do have an issue with clients that expect us to be a drugs courier service, purely because they’ve probably gotten away with it before whereby a crack-whore brings along a supply and gives them a free gangbang because by now she’s well out of it.

We would respectfully suggest to those clients falling into the latter category, that they cruise the red light district for an hour to get it out of their system first, then give us a call when they wanted to upgrade to a little higher class of entertainment!



Search Those Images!

Search Those Nottingham Escorts Images Pt2


A few weeks back, we posted about how important it is that clients use either Google Reverse Image Search, or Tineye on all agency and independent girls’ photos, to ensure that they aren’t being fed a pack of lies.

Something happened today at Midlands Maidens nottingham Escorts HQ that reinforces this one-hundred-fold.

Any agency worth their salt will use the above image search tools on a daily basis, as a matter of course, to sift out any potetial utter lying scavving twats.

Hey, some agencies will go as far as to let them through! But to our mind – if an applicant is going to lie on their application, then we are not going to even remotely consider letting them loose on our client base.

With the above in mind, consider the following:

An application is received, with a contact number and photo, saying that they wanted to work for Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts.

Opening the photo, we see:


Running this through an image search, we find many results, with the full and uncropped photo:


This is from an article in The Daily Mail featuring an Instagram photo of Jessica Wright from TOWIE.

Now if a girl from TOWIE had genuinely phoned up for a job, we would have told her to fuck off anyway and go and get your next boob job fees by working in Tesco. So someone merely PRETENDING to be a girl from TOWIE – besides needing a life – has got NO chance!

Guys – we don’t suppose for one minute that this is an isolated case, and even more than ever it is ESSENTIAL that you CHECK THOSE IMAGES before booking to prevent you being ripped off!

Check out:

Google Image Search Tool

Tineye Image Search Tool





Selfie Phenomenon

The Selfie Phenomenon


After the influx of recent new Maidenettes at Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts, and with all of them working from ‘selfie’ shots, it’s given us something to think about regarding future shoots.

The number of enquiries we have received this past week has increased tenfold, so the new girls were sent out on a double mission – the first objective was the obvious – but the second mission was to carry out a little market research as to how it came about that each girl was selected.

Obviously, the fact that Midlands Maidens Nottingham Escorts are a 24 hour agency was a huge factor as always, but a huge proportion of those answering cited the photos as one main reason as to why each individual girl was chosen.

It has become apparent that clients have twigged on to the fact that these amazing looking visions of perfection with flawless skin and perfect teeth in exclusive studio apartments furnished with Harrods four-poster beds have been manipulated to fuck, and its actually the woman from the chip shop who turns up. Which is hardly surprising, as it beggars belief how some of these agencies, especially the London ones, have got away for so long by sending girls over who bear scant likeness to their photos.

It was cited as ‘a breath of fresh air‘ by one of our clients ‘to find an agency that posts real photos of their girls‘.

Well who are we to argue with that?

We have always maintained that it should be the girl herself, and not the prowess of the photo manipulator that attracts the client, and this has also been a major factor in why independent escorts have been doing so well of late, at the expense of the agencies, purely because the indies tend to post selfies instead of photo-babble.

It is also probably why so many girls have left agencies – we’ve lost count of the amount of times that an applicant has turned up saying that it was embarrasing how often she was turned away for not looking like her pictures.

Ironically, we can see the art of photo manipulation being the death of professional photographers as we know it – unless of course these professional photographers can up their game in their photoshop techniques. An obviously heavily airbrushed cartoon cutout doesn’t swing it any more – people are on to you – its time to get real!